Life is rarely ever the way you plan it. I still think everything is already written for us anyway though. I believe everyone has their own path, idk like their own novel and its pen has already dried out and the pages have already been put together, we can’t change it.

If I say I’m gonna change today well I’m not really am I cos it’s already written out for me my destiny will forever be the same.

Current events in my life have now made me want to be alone so bad.

The nicest people in the world are the cruelest aswell and it hurts so bad to see someone in a different light you could never before conceive.

Ands it crazy to say I want to be alone because of the greatest people I know, who like I said can also be the worst. I just don’t want to affiliate my myself with people anymore. I think people are corrupt and I’m scared to trust people and that fear turns to hatred.

I hate people.

I’d never thought it could happen I mean I swear I used to be a lovable caring friendly dude but now it’s just transitioned into a front to get people off my back to take the limelight off me and now it’s feels like I’ve faded off into the darkness despite all my best efforts to be acknowledged as just a good guy.

But that totally backfired and now I could not care less about anyone.

Except my parents ofcourse I’ve neglected their love for too long.

But the real sad thing is Im only 19.

You shouldn’t say all this when you’re 19 you shouldn’t feel sorry for
yourself this should be the time of your life but then why at the end of the day do I simply feel like saying “fuck it”

Ugh fuck it.

I know that’s bad to say but I don’t regret it.

Yeah

X

I dream
Of the yellows and reds and greens of a world with you
You say you need more colour
More light
I dream
Of interlocked fingers and entwining bodies
You say you need more closeness
More touch
I dream
Of gifts of love and acts of giving
You say to give more
You need more
I dream
Of flying the blue insomniac skies of your mind and diving into the depths of your soul
You say you need me to go higher
Search deeper
I dream
For when I do not dream
And you are here in front of me
You ask for nothing at all
And I realise
Your dream was me
I dream
I dream
I dream
.

Rather lose love than to move on never knowing what it feel like,
Short days, long nights,
By the phone, no call,
Need a clear mind ‘cause I been blind,got me goin’ down that road,
Heart made of stone,
Far away from home,
Woman you cold,
Every problem you ever had with another man I gotta face,
Started off on thin ice,
I’m still here but I can’t skate,
Slow sink, can’t breath, no remorse, don’t think,
Listen to your friend get another man for a minute then repeat,
Queen, you deserve the title ,but she rejects what I give, while she nurse the wounds by them,
Tried them, didn’t work, got impossible standards, nothing I’m a do is gon’ work.